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Some experiences are hard to describe in words, and this trip is definitely one of them…
I’m going to seek the help of using a story format…
I was part of this challenges for four years in a row (not quite sure if it is three or four)…my first time participating in this challenge was so memorable and special…
I have always struggled with belonging but this community was the only one where I felt truly belonged to and deeply connected with…I got accepted to this trip three years ago and I was so excited to go but I wasn’t able to…no need to say how sad I felt that it didn’t happen back then…this time as a lot of things have changed in my life, I was finally able to be part of it…
Although Turkey has always been my favorite country and the destination I dreamed about for studying and living abroad and even though I have always wanted to go camping, those weren’t the parts I was most excited for. what I was excited for is the experience, the program, the journey that I would go through within myself, and most importantly meeting the people who I consider my greatest inspiration, the people of my favorite community…this is what truly fills my heart…
On my first day, I met the group at the airport and we head to the city to enjoy Istanbul…I was so tired after two flights in two days (Shoutout to Hadi for carrying my backpack, it was much needed)
Then we arrived home, I finally met Muj and Murtadha, it was the first time meeting them after knowing each other and talking online for over three years, it felt weird as if I already met them before…I also met there my best friend Murooj who was going to join us on this trip and I was really excited for that too. However, she was passing through something and wanted to return home…I was indeed disappointed and even more disappointed when Fatima also backed out from the trip the next morning. Although I’m the kind of person who strongly believes that everything happens for a reason and always surrenders to the present moment, I was sad and found myself desperately looking for answers on why this was happening.
I wanted to process this on our way to the camp but Muj suggested the “questions game” to get to know each other, I wasn’t in the mood at the beginning but then I started to enjoy it very much. I’m so grateful for it and I want to run such questions round in any circle I would be part of in the future.
I liked the randomness of this game and the idea that we don’t open our question until it’s our turn, so we can listen to others’ answers without thinking about our own question.
I think the story format won’t work here anymore because it’s A LOT to keep track of in a story format. I will share a list of some of the special things that happened at the camp instead…
This was my favorite part of the day…the silent moments…feeling grounded, present, and united with the fascinating nature that held us…and not just united with nature but with everyone around me…feeling their presence, looking into their eyes admiring the unity and the depth of the moment…my tears fell for this connection…
I have lead one of these standups and a sun salutation yoga, it was my first time… I never thought I would want to do something like this, but it felt so natural, as if I had done it a million times before…I have been guided many times by other people and I’m so grateful that I had the chance to give this back to others…
We shared a lot in these standups. Although they were long that I had to sit down from tiredness sometimes, I never wanted them to end…they would beautifully close with a group hug that would last for few silence seconds full of love and connection…
I feel so grateful for the tears I shed…they were tears of overwhelming joy, gratitude, and presence. I have some of them now, just from remembering these moments.